My Journey with Christ and Sharing his love.

For the past one month of my summer vacation, it has been interesting. I must say almost nothing this year gone according to plan. My studies, my pursuit for internship and my desires, the firm decisions that I had made all are weaken and shaken. But is it me being indecisive and wishy washy or is it something else.

Maybe it all started with my decision of pursing an internship in Seattle. I applied for it, I got it, went through the interview and I declined the offer. Before I decline,  I had a firm decision that I want to go, I know the reasons for me to go there, not only interning to boost my resume but I am dying to experience the Christian community there regardless it is good or bad. But when I discuss this with my parents, their worries and the additional burden I am giving them just to let them allow me to go it is so difficult. After the great messed up in the beginning of the year, I was weary and tired. Literally lost my sense of direction. Well, it is ok no internship in Seattle, try to find one in Singapore. But it has been one month and as I expected no internship yet. The great mess in all my plans, I think it is time to let go and I want to go to do what I want. Going away from Singapore for a while with my family in Christ to KL for a moment and get back my focus in Christ. Haha then permission from parents was another burden for them. I withdrew my decision once again. Where has all my determination and goals I had two years back went to?

A question many people had asked me, what do I really want? I was laughing at myself, even if I really want it I will not pursue it if it burdens my love ones. Maybe that is my way to love my parents. Just like how the Lord had loved me, Jesus Christ has been always waiting for me to turn my eyes to him. He gently laid his desires and request for my own good, but never once forced me or pressed me to make a decision. That is how much the Lord loved me. Now, I am 22, I want to do and pursue many things, I have laid my requests and desires to my parents, rather than forcing them and pressuring them to give me the grant of agreement for my decision. I will wait till the day they are willing to let me go.

I had questioned myself before, do I really love my parents? I had never shown much concern to them like other children does. Maybe the Lord had answered my doubts in his ways. My love to my parents maybe a little bit different. My greatest hope is that they can see it and sense it and forgive me for being one that don't really know how to express love through words but through my decisions.

Thank you guys for making my day so special!!

Embracing art

This is one of the rare times I had such a good and calm rest at home. All thanks to the doctors who advice me to undergone wisdom tooth surgery and gave me a rest of one week. My face was so swollen that I couldn't do much and couldn't go anywhere. 
Finally, the swell subsided today and I could go for my driving lesson. 
Surprisingly, I was early today. Out of curiosity and boredom I decided to have a walk in the park near the meeting place with my instructor.
"The park was beautiful!" This was the thought that came into my mind. I have pass by this park countless times. Most of the time I did not have a time to even sit down at the benches, as I was either late or I will be there just on time for my lesson. The park was quiet and peaceful, I could see dragonflies flying around the pond, plants that seems so familiar but I could not remember the name for it. The effort of the architect was seen by the oriental design of the whole park.small bridges and pathways that allows us to walk through the pond and have a closer look at the plants and dragonflies. How I wish I had brought my camera along to capture this beautiful images and moments I felt.

When I am walking back to the meeting place, I was thinking when people start taking photos, what do they want to capture. Is it just beautiful photos and experiences? What makes an art piece then?

When I was younger, I couldn't really understand art. It seems like just aimlessly beautifying the environment. However, as I was exposed to more art works in secondary school, I start to be afraid of it.  In certain art pieces I could feel fear and darkness that can be depicted so vividly. Then I feel that art seems to be impractical, for it does not beautify all the time. Interestingly, as I grew older, I start to understand what it means that have different angles of thinking, different sides of a story through one event. This is an art. This is not only shown through writings, it is shown through drawings, architectures as well as photography.

This actually spark my interest in this area, and enabled me to appreciate art a little bit more. Today, carrying a camera walking around seems to be the "in" thing in Singapore. Not only that but also posting personal art works on social networking websites. I hope that through my exploration I could find out more about art and the interesting stories and perspectives the photography is trying to depict. For it is only now that I realize art is not just about beautifying, it is a window to reality.